Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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