i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
