How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
