We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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