And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
