Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
