Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
