yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize