okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
