i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Randomize
