he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
is wine microwaveable?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize