Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
