ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
