it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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