bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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