think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize