is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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