Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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