what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
