I think I am morally bankrupt
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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