C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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