Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
