I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
