I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
