Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
