I got chris browned last night
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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