tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
