i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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