North Korea, Best Korea!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
