this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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