I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
