I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
