Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
