so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
