True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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