He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize