Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
