he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So much Jack, so little girl.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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