Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
