does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
