I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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