I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize