I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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