Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
