Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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