winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
