Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
