so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
