So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The best revenge is premature balding
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
