omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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