I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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