do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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