I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
