You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My bed smells like the plague
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
