just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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