And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
