She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
