He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize