Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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