Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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