I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize