what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
