Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
