My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he puts the penis in happiness.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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