What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
