Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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