i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize