He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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