And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
