A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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