why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
