i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
