literally had 100 drinks last night.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This is the high leading the old right now
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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