Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
