i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
