i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Randomize